My friend and I are writing a story...?

Hey you guys have a very interesting story going here! It captured my attention! I know you're a Twilight fan and I do see some similarities but nothing bad. There are only 2 things I would change about that: not being able to call your father George to his face and him being used to you screaming in your dreams. Those two things sound a little too similar. I honestly liked your writing a bit better because I felt you had better descriptions and more attention getters. It really pulled me in. I love the hunger and thirst sentence in your first paragraph. So far you guys have introduced alot of interesting things that are a mystery. The dream, the man, the red eyes, the girl's eyes, not being able to remember when she was 8. It really leaves us wanting to know more, wondering why. That's really good. Hehe the tennis court scene makes me smile; I too go down to my tennis court when I want a place to think. Good story you guys and I can't wait to see where it goes!